The Love Confession 4.0

Sometimes life seems unfair. Sometimes a trick. So much can the absence of that person do. Like how a newborn does not know what life would have in store for him. The same way do we know how much we would turn out to love that one person who would turn our life upside down.
"I miss you. Your silent whispers in my ears at the commence of every sunrise. Your kisses landing on random parts of my body. The way you warmed me up with your muscular hands around me. Never once did you miss noticing my shivers. These small things used to be a daily dose for me. But what now? All this seemed to have faded in the backlights of the world around.
It has been 5 years, 7 months, 20 days and 9 hours since I saw you last but still your features stand affixed in my mind as they had since our first acquaintance. It was around 25 years back. The memory still stands fresh in my mind. You were playing 'marbles' with your friends and I was playing 'tag' with mine. How cute you looked in that tiny vest and those half pants. The smile on ur face hardly showed the small number of milk teeth you had then. And when we bumped into each other and fell to the ground, like idiots did we start laughing. Hardly did we know that our lives would turn out to be beautiful then on.
Hehe and the onset of puberty was so memorable. Those endless phone calls, those stupid convos we shared. Oh! The way you blushed always made me say 'awwwwww' and pull your cheeks every single time.
And the time you proposed me for marriage. How little did we think of our age! We were 15 and all ready to get married as well. But thank god the wedding was held a couple of years later. Oh! I still remember every day and every night i spent with you then on. Those random calls we used for each other. So much drama!
Come back....I miss you....."
"Awww I will, i promise. Just open the door will you? I sent you a parcel. "
I went to the door and slowly unlocked it. And like a surprise, there he was! Hugging me and kissing me like how he did 5 years back.
" And you thought you missed me more!"
"Well I do expect surprises time to time as well"
He bit my ear and kissed my face and his grip on my body felt tighter.
"By surprises, I  just remembered you quite surprised me down your memory lane. You sure do remember everything huh?"
"Yep! I remember every little thing. I do."

A Shoelace of Warm Thread

Expectations had I alot,
To reach what could not be seen,
But in the world was I lost,
For nothing but thread had i been.....

A bit lost, a bit insane,
Was what I was called.
In a crowd of millions,
As a fool was I mocked.
But only bits had I seen,
I thout till yet,
For nothing but thread I had been...

Life seemed different now to me,
As many springs had passed,
And many breaths as well.
I was a glimmer now,
With an aglet at the end.
Change i had seen till now alot
As I was now a shoelace of warm thread,
in a lot.

The Love Confession 3.0

Life had been unfair or fair was it? The hustle and bustle of the rainstorm did not matter to me anymore as it always had. His face was all that my eyes wanted to see now on.
The wait brought back memories which never deemed in my mind. All those times when I had the chance of showering my love over him had now seemed vain.
I needed him now. For all the times when he begged for me, I let him down. So less i knew that fate would bring a surprise as such for me.
Scared had i been to admit my feelings then to the boy I had adored since I had baby feet and now, he was gone....
I still remember that day....that very day when i was all ready to admit my feelings to him. The special dress i had worn on that occasion still lay untouched in the cupboard after the dreaded day which changed the map of my life forever.
The day had started with excitement for me. Little had I known that the excitement would turn into depression. I was about to confess that I loved him dearly. The day before he had begged for the same to me. But negligence was all he had to accept. The way to his house seemed like a way to heaven that day for the least had i given the thought that it wasn't I who was on way to heaven but him. The day before had been his last day of survival. Least had I known that this would happen.....my heart cracked as I saw him motionlessly lying on the marble floor beneath. The flowers i had bought on the way to pleasure him after the confession had actually paid off. But I disgraced myself......
And here I am, his widowed wife, standing at his grave just like on the day I was going to tell him that our divorce had been cancelled.....here I am crying for the husband I once had for myself but not anymore. Here I am in the rainstorm wishing this all had never happened. Here I am confessing my love to him for the 365th time.....

The Pirate Ship

Questions sometimes rise in my mind like tides rising and crashing on the sea shore, like punches falling on a wrestler in a boxing ring, like the jerks a person gets when he goes through constant heart strokes…..and most of all, like how a dagger hits you and shreds off your heart into tiny pieces just because of a single thought that your beloved confesses….
The questions take over your mind like cancer….adding to more doubts and more dark thoughts. Life seems like a dark sea and thoughts drift in this sea in a pirate ship.

This ship has no map, no route, no passengers, no crew and no souls but only the lonely soul of the pirate remains inside which is you. Not a destination exists even. The ship goes where the waves drift it to. Sometimes it’s a place with no life, sometimes with no honesty and sometimes absolutely nothing at all.

Maybe this ship has no destiny, no name and maybe no pirate at all. Maybe the pirate died of plague or of murder. Murder….the most ruthless and the most heart breaking way of how a person can be killed….

But even if the pirate was dead, who would care? The ship has no one on board and the questions….they have no answers….not even a single answer…..

The Love Confession 2.0

The winter killed me. Every hair on my body shrilled and stood but there was hope. A little bit of warmness which kept me alive....it was you. All i had to do was close my eyes and that's it. The drift of mood did not sound like survival anymore. Just the imagination of you giving me warmth was itself beyond death. Survival was not at all in my list of worries anymore. What topped the list now was the thought whether you would stay or not....
You had died. I did not know how, i did not know why....but what all i knew was that you had left me...alone...all alone...why? 
All the cold took over when i saw you. How calm you seemed with that smile on your face but your closed eyes were what itched me. The same eyes which spoke directly to my heart had suddenly rejected to do so and till now i do not know the reason.
Every soul in the room repelled from you but i was still strongly attracted to the boy i never felt repulsive about.
"Move away, you might get cold" they said but that time your body was the only source of heat for me. I could not let go. I would not let go. And then something happened....my eyes found a connection with your heart somehow.....they started draping...and then! It all seemed so clear, you were standing in front of me ready to hug me with all your might and i ran for the same. And alas! We were together. Always and forever as we always said. I could hear louder cries in the background....but they did not matter. Slowly the noise stopped and we were together. Always and forever....

The Love Confession 1.5

They say a man experiences twelve last breaths before death snatches his/ her life…….i declare now that, those twelve breaths of mine i would spend just by taking your name. Your name…..it throws off all that is vain, it saves me, guards me. Yes it does.
If i die, it wouldn’t be for me but for you that i leave this world.
To bestow peace upon you and to see you with a happy family, loving kids who would call you dad and a wife who would love you immensely…….
And whenever , if they ask you who i am, tell them that i was just a bad dream you had to get rid of. I love you….i love you forever…..
Forever and Always.

The Love Confession 1.0

The day i saw you for the first time, i was confused….confused of what lay ahead of me….what lay ahead of “us” but just the smile on your face threw away all that wrinkled me….maybe cause you just wanted to fall for my face every now and then as you say……..i love you….alot. Days passed, weeks as well, followed by months and years too. You were someone else’s and i was someone else’s as well. But they say right? That what’s meant to be is meant to be….and here we are…more than friends, more than best friends, more than siblings, more than teen couples and more than even a married couple. Life is vain without you. Come to me, wrap me in your arms, attach me to you and assure me that i am yours….
The times when you tried to touch me, i still remember the first time you did. The unsure expression on your face when you once patted my shoulder while saying bye….that was the first touch which struck me hard….i was starstruck…and so damn happy. That single touch of your fingers turned my heart around. My heart which used to face ahead, faced u since….and that is the best it has ever been…..time passed with no pause…we had our mischievous moments and much much more….i love you…wrap me in a blanket and join me in…..i do not know if i would be all you wanted but i assure you that i would try. I want to be with you…in the same house, in the same room, the same bed, the same tub. I don’t care if i don’t get all this but what matters to me most is to have you. I love you…..i can say that till my last breath. If i die, don’t worry……cause sadness on your face would be more treacherous than death itself.